Taboo

Tonight I’m chatting online with a beautiful friend who just said something that really hit home. “Birth is so polarising in my head”.

We’re discussing the birth of a couple of babies born in the last two days. The subject of ‘the perfect birth’ was raised and I was reminded of something my psych, the wonderful Sarah and I spoke about today.

Using the 747 analogy, our society doesn’t know how to deal with birth trauma. And not just trauma, but stillbirth, miscarriage, disability, abortion and infertility. It’s like we have it programmed into our collective psyche that we can’t talk about anything ‘unpleasant’ that surrounds babies, pregnancy and birth. That it’s not polite to talk about it. So when we, the woman, have to deal with the aftermath, we don’t know what to do to try and fix the situation. I was so fortunate to know a doctor personally, I went to him to ask for help as I didn’t know who else to turn to. All my avenues were drying up.

I’m setting you a goal, dear reader. I want you to make a conscious decision to talk about birth trauma. I want you to pick up the phone and ring your friend to ask how she is going. Remember to call your friends stillborn baby by name. Their name is so a part of their identity and means so much to their mum and dad left behind. Acknowledge that miscarriage happens and that often it’s not a case of ‘we can try again’. Also remember that disability is not a life sentence.

We need to change our society attitude.

Until next time xx

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