No, not the catch cry of a fundamentalist religious zealot, but the conversation starter that fairly much ruined my day.
“She’s 16 months old, are you having number two soon?”
“Well why not? You can’t just have one. All kids need a sibling.”
“Yeah but she’s healthy and so are you. You need to move past what happened.”
Yeah. Seriously. I wanted to crawl into a hole. Even after telling her my story (which you can read here) she still kept on about how I need to have more kids. I suggested that we could foster or adopt and was scoffed at.
“No! You must have your own children!”
The problem with pregnancy and birth, is that everyone has an opinion. Everyone becomes a coffee table obstetrician. Their anecdotal experiences become legend and therefore the only information necessary. The only correct information out there.
I wonder if this is how it feels for women who know they can not have anymore children. Those who have been afflicted with illness or emergency conditions rendering them unable to have more. My ovaries are fine. My uterus is fine. My brain, not so much.
Oh how I get clucky. I see a delicious little newborn, all wrapped up in a bunny rug, or nestling in his mothers breasts whilst being worn in a wrap. I hear that little whisper in the back of my head saying “Baby! Baby! Baby!” Yet I feel compelled to suppress. How could I possibly, knowingly put myself through it again? The risk of the known happening is far too much for me to contemplate.
So while today the Beast has been quietly lurking, I can’t blame my anger and sadness on him today. I’m laying blame solely on this one woman, who while I know meant well, really should have just shut up when I told her my deeply personal story of what happened.
I hate having a story. I just want to feel normal.
Until next time xx
Linking up with PANDA for this blog post. November 18 – 24, 2012 is PND Awareness Week
Post natal depression doesn’t only affect mums, but entire families. Dads can also be diagnosed with PND.
For more help, please see my welcome page or visit
TABS A great website that no longer posts new information, but has wonderful archived information.
Lifeline (Australian residents only:) 131114
Or in case of emergency (Australian residents only): 000