I’ve been battling flashbacks now for a week. I don’t know if I’m coping better with them, there doesn’t seem to be any one particular trigger.
However we are coming up to Missy’s birthday. Anniversaries are strongly linked to worsening PTSD symptoms, apparently.
My flashbacks are all sensation based. Fingers and hands. Touching. I feel gross all the time.
I’m back to comfort eating. I’m starting to have difficulty sleeping again.
I am starting the 12WBT again on Sunday so at least I’ll have that to keep my weight on track.
I called my psychologist and made an appointment for the 24th of June. It was the earliest available. Today is the 10th of May. I’m on her cancelation list at both her private practice and her medical centre list.
For now, I wear a smile and tell everyone I’m well, but I’m not really. I’m just existing. Same same, no difference.
It feels like I’m on a merry-go-round. Except this one isn’t fun.
Thank you to http://www.birthtraumaassociation.org.uk/